This moving debut novel in verse about a teenage girl dealing with the aftermath of an accident that nearly takes her brother’s life is a stunning exploration of grief and the power of forgiveness.

The reminder is always there—a dent on the right side of Jonah’s forehead. The spot you’d press when you felt a headache coming on. The bullet tore away bone, the way dynamite blasts rock—leaving a soft crater.

Life changes forever for Liv when her older brother, Jonah, accidentally shoots himself with his best friend Clay’s father’s gun. Now Jonah needs round-the-clock care just to stay alive, and Liv seems to be the only person who can see that her brother is still there inside his broken body.

With Liv’s mom suing Clay’s family, there are divisions in the community that Liv knows she’s not supposed to cross. But Clay is her friend, too, and she refuses to turn away from him—just like she refuses to give up on Jonah. 

Thank you so much to Edelwiess for this ARC! I think I’ve mentioned this in a review before but it couldn’t hurt repeating; I absolutely love novels written in verse. There’s just something about the medium that feels so incredibly personal and emotional, and I find it so direct and to the point because you don’t have to wade through a lot of extra words to get to the heart of the thing. That’s all this novel is; heart. We see the world through Liv’s eyes as she attempts to adjust to life after the accident.

Liv’s brother, Jonah, was a daredevil. Never once did he consider his own mortality; instead he lived each moment to the fullest and pulled his best friend, Clay, along for the ride. This lead to tragedy as the two boys discovered a gun in Clay’s attic, and Jonah picked it up for a laugh. Not believing Clay’s dad would leave a loaded firearm where anyone could grab it, Jonah brought it to his own head with a smile and pulled the trigger. The rest happens in a blur. Jonah lives, but has irreparable brain damage, and has caused a rift between the two families. Liv’s mother sues Clay’s father, and battle lines are drawn.

Liv is torn. Clay is her friend too, and she can see how much their family is suffering. She is also by her brother’s side almost 24/7, caring for him more than their own mother. She strikes up a friendship with Jonah’s nurses and doctors, and gives nicknames to all the various machines working hard to keep him alive. She’s there to hear him speak her name and to feel the warmth of life still radiating from who her brother has become. She is his protector and advocate, and as such, the rest of her life, like school and friends, start to fall to the wayside.

This book handles grief in such a beautiful way, and shows the importance of a healthy support system. I can’t say that I’ve experienced anything close to this kind of tragedy, so I can only imagine how alone and angry someone must feel. Liv is such a strong individual, and she wears the mask of Normal very well, but when she is found out, the people in her life rally around her to make sure she remembers that she is alive and has permission to be happy. I also love how this experience teaches her so much about herself. As she cares for her brother a spark is ignited within her that tells her she might be meant to be a nurse or even a doctor.

Liv even bridges the gap between the warring families, and finds a grieving mother outside of her own household. She brings joy to everyone she can, not really saving any for herself. She finds love, and reconnects with her friends. She actually sees the person her mother is, removing the woman’s own mask that has obstructed her own pain from view. She is a stubborn and dedicated girl, and I love her so completely for knowing the struggles and faults of those around her and loving them anyway. Her heart is so big, and you can’t help but be swallowed up by it.

I loved hearing Liv’s story in her own, poetic words. Betty Culley did such an amazing job at creating her and the rest of these characters, and making us care about each one as Liv does. I applaud the message for the need for gun safety, which is something that sorely needs to be discussed in the time that we live in now. I cried at multiple points throughout, and even though it was a very devastating novel, it was also full of hope. There are endings, but also new beginnings, and a whole slew of adventures in between. It’s a lovely debut, and I really hope she does more works in verse in the future.

5/5 stars